to all the people that let me down and hurt me...starting with myself.I let myself down not fighting hard for my dreams and loving people too much who end up hurting me...not loving myself..and letting everybody else in my life treat my me carelessly. One day ill finally let go of the pain,devastation,anger,heartbreak....it shALL BE WELL WITH MY SOUL ..am slowly giving up on myself
Do people get paranoid everytime they have unprotected sex?for fear for hiv?i had unprotected sex 5weeks ago with someone i didn't know well and it has stressed me so much,i fear to test,i have never done that,i have not had any signs so far but I don't know why I'm this scared of the disease.. does anyone feel this way atimes or just me?
Family baggage can drain you dry. I have sacrificed my life to play as a protector but nothing changes. Each time i think that it's almost over, Boom back to square one n that happening makes me wanna loose my mind. Family is everything but the minute you loose yourself to it, trust me it's not worth it. I have decided to keep distance and focus on me for once. I guess the lesson I've learnt in all this is patience. I tell you for free, patience is not smooth at all! I have hurt a lot n what pains even more is not being able to have control. I have had A plans but they have all backfired on my face. You can only Hope n Pray. It's time for your peace.
I have two brothers; one, two weeks in since he got a restraining order from our local Chief. (I wonder why mum had to wait so long to out him). He's an Ungrateful B...*****, well and a thief. He has stolen from utensils, food, clothes, in need of cash he'll take anything around him just to get a cup or two of the 'illicit brew' which turns him veeeery Noisy. Thanks to the restraining order ,it's a little bit peaceful. Mornings in my house had been chaos for a long time because he'd come drunk n start arguments with mum, it was hell.
Onto the next, He is violent n Rude. He couldn't keep his wives from his trashy mouth n beatings. He is still fed by mum because he's just a lazy drunk arse n still he always talks back to mum. The guts kills me .
they both have three kids which all them kids have been born at home, like Mum had to take care of the wives when pregnant, child birth n raising them n the cycle continues. Everything is provided for by my parents, coz the sons won't work a day in their life, they even ask for money to go get drunk. Like they are brats and bastards. the only thing they are good at.
If i tell you these two boys have ruined my family in all the ways possible, they've been given a million chances at job opportunities but they always blow it up , showing up drunk crawling, or fist fights with other colleagues. They've been handed everything to them on a platter n yet they bitch about how they are hated. They are so ungrateful, Every time i wish they don't show up at the house or maybe just drink themselves to death or just commit a crime that will keep them in prison for ever but it doesn't happen.
Story of my life.